If you're worried about someone else
How to help, without making things worse.
If you suspect someone you love is being hurt — a friend, a parent, a grandparent, a neighbour — your care matters. Done well, it can be one of the most important things in their life. Done clumsily, it can make them less safe. Here is the shape of "done well."
Tell them you believe them
The single most helpful thing anyone can say is: "I believe you. None of this is your fault. I am here." Repeat it as often as you need to. Do not ask for evidence. Do not minimise. Do not ask what they did to deserve it — the answer is always nothing.
Move at their pace
People leaving abusive situations often need to leave many times. Each time matters, even the ones that don't stick. Your job is to stay, not to rush them. The worst thing you can do is give them a deadline.
Do not confront the person harming them
Offer the helpline numbers
You don't have to fix this yourself. You can say: "I care about you. I can't tell you what to do, but I think these people could help. Do you want me to sit with you while you call?" Then give them 1800RESPECT, 1800ELDERHelp or the National Debt Helpline.
1800RESPECT
Call 1800 737 732 · 24 hours, every day
1800ELDERHelp
Call 1800 353 374 · 9am–5pm weekdays (state hours vary)
If they are in immediate danger
Look after yourself too
Supporting someone through family violence is exhausting and often thankless. You can call 1800RESPECT yourself — for you, as the friend or family member. They will talk to you about how to support the person you love while staying okay yourself.
See all 7 guides in Safety & wellbeing →
From bluetulipco.com/library/safety/worried-about-someone — printed 1 October 2026.
General information only — not a substitute for legal, medical, financial, or therapeutic advice. Read the full disclaimer.
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