Having the Conversation
How to talk about death before anyone is sick.
The hardest conversation is the one you never have. When you wait until crisis, decisions are made in panic by people who do not know what you wanted. This guide helps you start.
How to start
Over a meal, after a movie about death, or using this app: "I found this app — can we talk about some of this stuff?" Casual, not ceremonial. Not "we need to have a serious talk" but "I have been thinking about something."
Talking to your parents
They may resist. Try: "It is not about you dying — it is about me knowing what you want so I do not have to guess during the worst week of my life." Make it about YOUR need, not their mortality.
Talking to your partner
"If something happened to one of us tomorrow, would the other one know what to do? Where the will is? What the passwords are? Can we spend 20 minutes writing it down?"
The checklist for the conversation
- Will — do you have one? Where is it?
- Power of Attorney — who is appointed?
- Advance Care Directive — what do you want medically?
- Funeral wishes — burial or cremation? What kind of service?
- Finances — where are the accounts? Super funds?
- Passwords — where is the password manager or the list?
- Who to call — who should know?
Getting past resistance
Some people will never want to have this conversation. That is their right. But you can still fill in YOUR plans in this app and tell them where to find it. Lead by example. Sometimes showing them your own plan is what opens the door.
See all 15 guides in Planning ahead →
From bluetulipco.com/library/planning/having-the-conversation — printed 1 October 2026.
General information only — not a substitute for legal, medical, financial, or therapeutic advice. Read the full disclaimer.
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