Capturing them — while they’re here

A phone voice memo is enough. Ask them to tell a story they love — how they met their partner, a childhood memory, a recipe, a song. Let them ramble. The rambling is the gold.

• “Tell me about the day you met Dad”
• “What was your mother like?”
• “What were you like at school?”
• “What do you wish I knew about your life?”
• “What would you want us to remember when you’re not here?”

A minute of them making a cup of tea. A minute at the kitchen table. A minute holding the dog. These quiet videos — not the big posed ones — are almost always what people treasure most later.

You don’t need to be a writer. Keep a notebook and jot down stories as they come up — at the hospital bed, over the phone, at dinner. Dates, names, small details. Future you will be grateful.

Bring out old photo albums while the person can still name everyone. Label the back of photos. Jot down who, where, when. This simple task often becomes one of the most precious hours a family spends together.

A print of their hand. A lock of hair if they agree. A small bottle of their perfume or aftershave. A shirt kept unwashed so the smell stays for a little while. None of these are strange — they are the vocabulary of love.