Carer burnout

• Constant exhaustion, even after sleep
• Snapping at the person you love (and feeling terrible afterwards)
• Snapping at them, then drowning in guilt
• Crying for no obvious reason — or not being able to cry at all
• Forgetting things, losing words, foggy thinking
• Body pain — back, shoulders, jaw, headaches
• Withdrawing from friends
• Feeling resentful, then guilty for the resentment
• Drinking more, eating less or more than usual
• Quietly thinking, "I can't do this anymore"
• Feeling trapped — your life is not your own
• Loss of identity outside the caring role

Many carers don't have a GP, or don't visit their own one. If it helps, make a long appointment, tell them you're a carer, and ask about a Mental Health Care Plan (up to 10 subsidised psychology sessions a year). You are allowed to be the patient sometimes.

• Carer Gateway: 1800 422 737 (counselling + emergency respite 24/7)
• In-home respite — someone comes to you
• Day centres — the person goes out, you get time
• Residential respite — up to 63 days per year in aged care
• Emergency respite — available immediately through Carer Gateway

If you're caring for a loved one with a serious illness or dementia, you may be grieving them while still caring for them. That grief is real.

Many carers feel guilty about needing a break. You are not abandoning them. You may be recharging so you can keep going. Many carers find that using respite helps them last longer, stay kinder, and care better.