Writing a Eulogy
Capturing your loved one in words.
A eulogy doesn't have to be polished. It has to be true. Here is a gentle framework for finding the words.
A simple structure
- 1. Who they were to you (one sentence)
- 2. A story that captures them — the one everyone will nod at
- 3. What they loved (people, places, small things)
- 4. What they taught you
- 5. What you will miss
- 6. A closing — a quote, a goodbye, a promise
Aim for 3-5 minutes. That's about 500-700 words. Shorter is almost always better.
What to include
- Their laugh, their habits, their turns of phrase
- A funny story (humour in a eulogy is a gift to the room)
- Their relationships — how they loved
- Something only you would know
- What made them them
If you can't get through it
Print two copies. Give one to someone you trust. If you break down, they step in and read the next paragraph. You take it back when you're ready. No one will think less of you for crying — they will think more of you for trying.
What to avoid
- Don't try to tell their whole life story — choose moments
- Don't air family grievances
- Don't make it about you
- Don't worry about being "good" — just be honest
See all 27 guides in When someone dies →
From bluetulipco.com/library/after-death/eulogy — printed 1 October 2026.
General information only — not a substitute for legal, medical, financial, or therapeutic advice. Read the full disclaimer.
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